the secret life of news-channel anchors

“My god, can we just get the guy inaugurated already?”
“I know. For fuck’s sake. It’s a 20-minute ceremony in the freezing-ass cold. And it’s not like we don’t know what’s going to happen. And yet we’re spending all weekend “counting down.””
“Count down to hypothermia, assholes. I can’t feel my fingers, because it’s 33 degrees right now.”
“If I have to talk one more time about Martin Luther King or that damn speech by Kennedy, I might shoot myself.”
“And all this ‘day of service’ crap, right? Days off are for watching football and playing video games. I mean, come on.”
“Yeah. Service this, American people.”
“How many hours do we have left?”
“One eleventy-billion.”
“Will you get me a coffee at Starbucks?”

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One Response to the secret life of news-channel anchors

  1. jtglover says:

    I have had a number of these thoughts. Also, I would like to see a National Day of Service. As a country, we generally don’t do anything holiday-related on our holidays (unless it’s eating, gifting, or “romance”), and I think it would be more effective to shame people into service on a day that’s especially set aside for it.

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